Wakefield Cathedral Charity Abseil: David Hunter Supports Focusing Minds

Some may have been fortunate enough to have a strong supportive network around them, others the means to partake in many different activities in lockdown, or their own space to get away from things for a while. On the flip side of the coin, some children will have faced difficulty at home, perhaps having no space for some quiet contemplation, or space to exercise or get fresh air. Some may have been exposed to horrors linked with isolation or suffered loss or bereavement for the first time.

When schools do return, the landscape of children’s mental health and well being may have significantly shifted, even for those children who schools generally may not have concerns about in more normal times or those who have given no indication of struggles whilst being away from school.

Here, we investigate the impacts of lockdown on our children.

Strains at home:

At the onset of lockdown, children were unable to attend school and in a lot of cases, parents were instructed to stay at home or unfortunately lost employment. All this has led to families spending much more time with each other in very different circumstances to the norm. For those with larger families or limited space, the impact may well have been more significant.

Spending much more time together, certainly more than usual pre-lockdown, has seen the potential for conflict and stress to increase, according to the NSPCC. These conflicts in some cases may have led to situations becoming more heated, to arguments and children perhaps seeing more strained relations between their parents or with their siblings.

There is a genuine fear that many children may be more vulnerable to abuse or domestic violence. More time spent at home and online also gives rise to fears that children are more susceptible to online threats such as abuse and grooming which brings its own concerns.

A traumatic time:

Having to work at home and having lockdown imposed may be complicated enough for children. Other experiences may have led to some suffering trauma which our children would need time and space to process.

Some children may have experienced things for the first time. Dealing with the emotions which follow these first-time experiences has allowed feelings of worry, stress, anxiety or feelings of depression to manifest. The Mental Health Foundation suggest that typical first-time feelings our children may have experienced include worry arising from loss – whether this be parents losing employment or being bereaved from losing a family member, whether through coronavirus or another illness. Some children have also had to deal with the feelings of concern for their key-worker parents or family members attending work and thus putting their own health and safety at risk in uncertain times.

The loss of everyday routine:

School has been the norm for most children across the country. The relatively swift announcement of lockdown saw children’s routine and norms impacted without time for adjustment or preparation akin to having the rug pulled from beneath their feet.

Gone was the safe structure and routine of the school day, the daily meet-up with friends and a space to share concerns with adults outside the home or family environment.  Almost suddenly, our children were forced to deal with an entirely different routine amidst the beginning of a pandemic.

As lockdown progressed, our children have found it difficult to remain motivated, to have good, regular sleep patterns in some cases and suffered feelings of isolation having not been able to see their friends outside an online environment or at the end of a phone call. Some children have even dealt with the disappointment of rejection by those who they considered friends and have not made contact during lockdown.

A pressing engagement:

Whereas many children up and down the country have consistently strong school attendance, not all have actively engaged with school in more normal times. The prolonged period of school absence – where a report for the National Foundation of Educational Research (NFER) claimed 40% of children have not had meaningful contact with their school teachers during lockdown – may significantly affect engagement when the time comes for children to return to school.  

For some, the time spent away from school at home may feel more of a norm; spending so long at home may have led to a changed perspective and affected their views of attending school. Psychologically, another change in routine – that of going back to school – will be another huge adjustment to contend with. Some already fear the return to school based on safety, others will be highly anxious about it or have other worries about returning, unrelated to school, based on their experiences at home.

A lost voice:

Sometimes, children just want their voice to be heard. The onset of the coronavirus pandemic saw demands placed on young people in a short period of time. Whereas before lockdown children may have had more autonomy over what they can do and have some semblance of control over their futures, now they have had to quickly adapt to everyone from central government to parents or  carers telling them what to do, what they can and can’t do, and having decisions made on their behalf.

Alongside having the ability to make decisions for themselves seemingly taken away, children have also had their sounding board of school taken from them too, with greater emphasis placed on sharing conversations with parents or family – something a lot of children find difficult – the feelings of isolation and not having a voice in decisions which affect their life have increased.

Health and nutrition:

It is long established that a balanced and nutritious diet has many health benefits. Since lockdown however, millions of children have been left suffering food insecurity. A YouGov poll for the Food Foundation found that 17% of children are living in homes where there is not enough food. According to the same poll, around two million children have had reduced portion sizes or less nutritious food.

Up to 31% of children eligible for free school meals have not benefited from a substitute meal during the lockdown period while 130,000 children have been stuck with online codes for vouchers which they have been unable to access.

Some may argue that millions of children across the UK regularly go without enough food. It is telling however that a Trussell Trust report found an 81% increase in families accessing food banks at the onset of lockdown in comparison to the same time in 2019.

Even for families fortunate to have enough food, the chances of meals being regular, balanced and nutritious has been significantly reduced. In fact, some children have reported skipping meals and to a lesser extent, not eating all day.

An uncertain future:

A lack of clarity and certainty about the future has left children concerned about the future. A survey by Save The Children, published in May, found that 20% of children interviewed in the UK were worried about their futures owing to school closures. According to UNICEF UK, 60% of children taking part in their survey reported they were concerned about how the coronavirus has affected their lives.

The unpredictable nature of the situation has led to concern about what will happen next. Our children have been left wondering whether the threat of a second wave of infections is a real possibility or whether it is even safe to partake in some of the activities they may have done before without as much as a second thought.

Things which may have felt safe and predictable, things which children may have relied on before may not be viewed in the same way now. Equally, as children may have seen adults disagreeing on the best course of action during the pandemic, their sense of being able to rely on adults could also have been diminished, according to the World Health Foundation.

It is undoubted that this period of lockdown has affected our children’s mental health and well being in many ways. The challenge of reintegrating children back into school, in what is likely to be a very different environment and supporting a potentially high number of children suffering the effects of a long lockdown period, is very real. Although it is a real challenge, the scale of it is so far unclear. By mid-March, the onset of the coronavirus pandemic in the UK, Childline reported over 900 calls from worried children regarding Covid-19. At the same time, domestic violence charity Refuge reported a 700% increase in call volume to their services. These figures, over four months old now, have only increased further. The NSPCC has reported over 1500 calls about concerns regarding children since lockdown began though it is feared this is just the tip of the iceberg. It is likely that pastoral resources will be needed in great supply when children return to school and perhaps for a significantly longer period afterwards.

The restrictions of the lockdown, the requests to stay at home for all but essential travel for supplies, food, medical appointments, exercise or work, are being described by most outlets as ‘draconian’ but however it’s viewed, it’s a reality we all have to cope with. The pressures raised by the lockdown, in terms of staying at home, self-isolation and social distancing will affect large numbers of people and moreover, their state of mental health.

Here are some top tips on how you can look after your own mental health during these unprecedented and difficult times

Keep a routine:

In the majority of cases, whether employed or not, you would have had a daily routine. You may have been quite strict with this or perhaps more loose and flexible. Regardless, due to lockdown, it’s most likely that the routine you once had has gone out of the window with many now working from home, home-schooling children or dealing with the worries of losing employment or being furloughed.

Keeping a routine however can help provide you with some purpose. You may be occupied during the day with work or home-schooling your children, however if you are not in either of these positions, why not make a list of things you could do or that need doing around the house – the type of things you’d generally put off doing, perhaps. You could aim to complete a few of these tasks each day – and reward yourself for getting them done.

Even maintaining activities such as showering in the morning and getting dressed can help keep the routine. It may also help you feel fresh and ready to complete the day ahead.

It’s good to talk:

The pressures of social distancing has undoubtedly left people feeling cut off, perhaps even isolated and most certainly missing our nearest and dearest. Due to the government guidance, you’re not allowed to visit friends or family but that doesn’t mean you’re not able to keep in touch with those closest to you.

If you don’t feel tech-savvy in using video-calling apps, a good, traditional telephone call can help. Us humans are social creatures and keeping in regular contact with others is part of our make-up. It can also help protect your own mental wellbeing and, if you speak to several others, don’t forget you’ll be playing a part in helping them maintain their mental health too!

This is a worrying time for all of us but make a somewhat special consideration too for our children. They have had the snap announcement of their schools being closed, removing their ability to socialise, be amongst their friends and of course, to learn. This has significantly impacted on Years 6 and 11, who would have been undertaking their exams this summer, the culmination of a school career’s worth of work and preparation. If you have children, don’t treat coronavirus as a taboo subject. Talk to your children about it, check their understanding, be factual – it doesn’t have to be treated as a ‘scary subject’ despite the situation it has caused.

Break a sweat:

You’ve probably heard it a million times before, but exercise really can help you feel better. The science behind it suggests that being physically active releases endorphins, a hormone that helps you feel happy and promotes positive wellbeing. So, if the weather keeps up to what’s being forecast this April, why not make the most of the sunshine and the daily exercise allowance by going for a run or jog, a (local) bike ride, even a walk – talking in some fresh air outside the home. If you’d rather stay at home however, why not try Yoga or one of the many free daily activities on TV or Youtube at the moment. Don’t forget, pushing the vac around and doing other house work is also being physically active so a spot of spring cleaning may never sound so appealing.

Manage how you follow the Covid-19 outbreak

There is a lot of information out there at the moment regarding the Covid-19 outbreak. Unfortunately, not all of it is factual or helpful. Some feel there is scare-mongering in the press, others believe that sources are trying to give rise to conspiracy about the virus’ origins and the role foreign powers have played in its global spread.

It’s true, Coronavirus may be all over the news but ask yourself the question – how closely do you need to follow it? Particularly in the press, it seems to be doom and gloom, lots of negatives and no end in sight to the lockdown. This constant drip feeding of negativity could affect anybody and leave you feeling at a loss, so how about a news detox? Focus on other things instead of the news and the seemingly constant negativity surrounding Covid-19.

Similarly, if you are intent on keeping up to date, it may be prudent to use reputable resources to gather more factual and accurate information rather than the latest gossip and media speculation on some TV, news and social media sources. Having more accurate information can help you take back control and not let the negative new stories get you down.

And remember…

Government guidance has remained somewhat consistent since the announcement of lockdown. Only leave home for essentials: food and medicine, to attend medical appointments, for daily exercise or to work – but only if you can’t work from home. Doing so may help prevent the spread of Covid-19 and, hopefully, will see us out of lockdown sooner.

If you have the tell-tale symptoms, stay at home, self-isolate along with others in your household. Help prevent the spread of the disease by doing so. The government have advised that we wash our hands thoroughly, for at least 20 seconds at a time. Cover your mouth when coughing or sneezing, ideally using a tissue and dispose of it as soon as possible before washing your hands or using hand sanitiser before washing at the next available opportunity.

Finally, a big round of applause for all the UK’s key workers, from NHS doctors and nurses to supermarket workers, delivery drivers and more! Here’s hoping we can get back to some form of normality sooner rather than later but in the meantime, stay safe, follow official guidance and we’ll get through this together.

According to a report, published in February 2020, by Ofcom, the UKs communications regulator, parents and carers are giving their children greater digital independence from a younger age. The same report however also found that, for the first time, more parents feel the risks outweigh the benefits of their child being online, with two million reporting that the Internet does children more harm than good.

In my own experience, I have spoken to many parents who have expressed concerns about their child using the Internet, social media platforms in particular. It has also become apparent that many parents want to keep an eye on what their child is doing online and support them but don’t really know how to go about it; many ask what they need to do to help their child stay safe online, whether it’s simply browsing the net or using social media. With that in mind, here are five top pointers which will hopefully help you if you find yourself in that particular boat:

Talk about it:

Talking to your child about their internet habits should, ideally, be as a common as asking how their school day has been. Showing a genuine interest in what your child regularly accesses online and the social media they use will make it much easier for them to approach you with any concerns or worries they may have regarding content displayed or even messages they may receive as they know you are interested in what they are doing.

Opening up that dialogue with your child on a regular basis may seem somewhat daunting at first, but it does help prevent their web usage becoming a ‘taboo’ subject. Discuss the pros and cons of using specific sites and social media platforms and listen to your child when they give justifications of why they may want to access a particular site. By offering them the opportunity to give their insight, your child will feel more involved in the decision making process when it comes to what they may or may not be able to access.

What are you looking at?:

Now that you know more about your child’s internet habits through conversation, it would be prudent to retain an interest and keep a watchful eye on what they’re accessing. A study by Dublin University found in recent times that as little as 18% of parents actively monitor what their child is accessing.

Where possible, it’s good to have even private devices, whether it’s a phone, tablet or laptop in more accessible areas of the house where they are visible. This isn’t always going to be possible, so a good parental control system on your home Internet may also help restrict your child viewing content you may not deem suitable for their age.

It’s not uncommon for parents to ‘follow’ their children on social media, though it’s generally best to discuss this approach with your child and highlight in any case that any approach you take to monitoring  is for their safety and not to ‘spy’ on what they are doing.

Look familiar?:

Some parents find monitoring their child’s Internet or social media use a real struggle, sometimes because they don’t know too much about what the child is viewing and accessing themselves. As already suggested, talking with your child can highlight their online favourites and habits, however it would be sensible for you to know how things work too, so you feel more empowered and in a position to help and understand if your child talks to you about something online.

You can do some research into what your child regularly accesses or uses. For example, if they use a social media app, learn how it operates and how it can be used. Gain an understanding of what your child may be exposed to on certain sites to help decide whether your child can access it or not. Pay particular attention to how to report content that you or your child may find concerning.

Keep it private:

According to Internet Matters, a nonprofit organisation established to help parents keep their children safe online, as many as 60% of a child’s online friends are not ‘real’ friends offline. Encourage your child not to share too much personal information as, in a lot of cases, it could be viewed by others who aren’t particularly close to your child.

This is particularly relevant to social media platforms. Each platform will have different and varied privacy settings to help keep your child safe and restrict the access a stranger may have to their account. Research how to ‘lock down’ your child’s social media profiles, perhaps even discuss and do this together to help.

More and more young people are sharing their social media passwords with others they deem friends. Encourage your child to not give out their passwords as it could potentially leave them open to significant consequences should posts be made by others accessing their accounts.

Be a role model:

Like many other aspects of life, you will no doubt look to model behaviours you expect your child to follow. The same can be said for your own Internet and social media use as a parent. By posting online things that you deem acceptable, it will help your child understand the types of things they may be able to post online and comment on too. Talking regularly about thinking of consequences before making a post can also help prevent your child post something that may not generally be acceptable and offensive to others.