In our pursuit of happiness and mental well-being, positivity often takes center stage. While a positive outlook is generally beneficial, there is a fine line between helpful positivity and what is known as positive toxicity or toxic positivity – if you missed our blog post last week, now would be a good time to check this out for context. This concept refers to the overemphasis on positive thinking, which can lead to the dismissal of genuine emotions and experiences. In this blog, we will delve into real-life examples of positive toxicity and explore their impacts on individuals.
What is Positive Toxicity?
As a recap, positive toxicity is the cultural tendency to avoid negative emotions by insisting on positive thoughts, often to the detriment of mental health. It can manifest in various ways, from seemingly benign comments to societal pressures. While encouraging positivity can be helpful, enforcing it indiscriminately can lead to emotional suppression and other harmful effects.
Examples of Positive Toxicity
“It’s Not That Bad”
Scenario: Someone shares a relationship struggle, and the immediate response is, “it’s not that bad!”
Impact: This statement can leave an individual feel invalidated and that an experience they have considered as harmful or negative to them perhaps isn’t as such, leaving them feeling dismissed. Everyone’s perception and experience of situations, including relationships, can be very different from another and dismissing an individual’s view on their circumstances can lead to them suppressing their views in future or adopting a false narrative of the situation.
“Just Stay Positive”
Scenario: Someone shares their struggles with a chronic illness, and the immediate response is, “Just stay positive!”
Impact: This statement, though well-meaning, can invalidate the person’s experience. Chronic illnesses often bring about a range of emotions, including fear, frustration, and sadness. Telling someone to stay positive can make them feel guilty for their natural emotional responses and discourage them from seeking support or expressing their true feelings.
“Good Vibes Only”
Scenario: A workplace or social setting that promotes a “good vibes only” culture, where negative emotions are discouraged or ignored.
Impact: In such environments, employees or members may feel pressured to hide their true feelings to fit in. This can lead to increased stress, burnout, and a lack of genuine connections. People need safe spaces to express all emotions, not just the positive ones, to maintain mental well-being and build authentic relationships.
“Look on the Bright Side”
Scenario: A person who has just experienced a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, is told to “look on the bright side” or “focus on the good times.”
Impact: Grieving is a complex and deeply personal process. Encouraging someone to focus solely on positive memories can prevent them from fully processing their grief. This can prolong the healing process and lead to unresolved emotions. Grief requires acknowledging and working through pain, not bypassing it with forced positivity.
“Everything Happens for a Reason”
Scenario: After a person loses their job, they are told, “Everything happens for a reason.”
Impact: While this sentiment is intended to provide comfort, it can be dismissive. Job loss can lead to financial strain, decreased self-esteem, and a sense of instability. Suggesting that there is a higher purpose behind their hardship can invalidate their feelings of frustration and fear, making it harder for them to cope and find practical solutions.
Social Media Positivity Pressure
Scenario: Social media platforms often showcase highlights and positive moments, creating an unrealistic standard of constant happiness and success.
Impact: This creates pressure for individuals to present a façade of perpetual positivity, even when they are struggling. It can lead to feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and increased mental health issues like anxiety and depression. The disparity between real life and curated online personas can be mentally exhausting.
The Harmful Effects of Positive Toxicity
- Emotional Suppression: Constantly pushing positive thinking can lead to the suppression of genuine emotions, increasing stress and anxiety.
- Invalidation of Experiences: It can invalidate personal experiences and make individuals feel misunderstood or unsupported.
- Unrealistic Expectations: It sets unrealistic expectations for constant happiness, leading to self-judgment and pressure to conform.
- Stifled Growth: Negative emotions are crucial for personal growth and resilience. Avoiding them can hinder development and emotional maturity.
How to Navigate Positivity in a Healthy Way
- Acknowledge All Emotions: Encourage a balanced approach where both positive and negative emotions are acknowledged and validated.
- Listen and Empathise: Offer a listening ear and empathetic responses rather than jumping to solutions or positive affirmations.
- Create Safe Spaces: Foster environments where people feel safe to express their true feelings without fear of judgment.
- Set Realistic Expectations: Understand that it is normal to experience a range of emotions and that it’s okay not to be okay all the time.
Conclusion
While positivity is a valuable aspect of mental health, positive toxicity can undermine genuine emotional experiences and hinder personal growth. By recognising and addressing examples of positive toxicity, we can create more supportive and authentic environments that allow for the full spectrum of human emotions. Remember, it’s perfectly fine to embrace positivity, but it’s equally important to acknowledge and validate all feelings.